Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
