The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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