This girl is more easily done than said...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize