I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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