There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
