Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
