I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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