im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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