I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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