look no pants
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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