I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
