im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
