Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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