I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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