I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
