we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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