Whod you bang
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
