think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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