I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
