So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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