before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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