she was so not down for the gang bang
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
thus making me awesome and them whores
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
