I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
