did you get engaged???
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
