I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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