***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
