I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
