Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
