I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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