Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
