But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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