whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
