I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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