my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
