Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
