mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
