Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
