Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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