is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
