she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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