I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
