Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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