He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
