I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
