Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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