i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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