Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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