What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
