is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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