just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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